judging and grudging

Recently, I saw an article of clothing that belonged to someone else that had a judgmental statement on it. Reading the statement implied that the person wearing the article of clothing had the right to say to the others reading it that they were somehow better than others because they believe themselves to be of a higher religious standard. I thought to myself, "why would someone wear this?" It made me wonder if they feel elevated and that others are not as good as they are? Ironically, I know the person who wears this article of clothing to have made some errors of judgment and mistakes in their life. So, in reading, it created a feeling of "Who do you think you are to be so above others?"

The way people judge others is often unfair, in my opinion. I mean after all, who is perfect among us? Who is without faults? Who is without mistakes made in their lives? Who has it all together 100 percent of the time? Who are the most elite among us to decide which shortcomings are completely unacceptable verses the ones that are acceptable?  

There is so much irony in judgmentalism, when you consider it.  I read a passage of scripture that actually states this: 

"Therefore you have no excuse, O man (woman), whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things".  (Romans 2:1)

When I read this, it is saying to me that whoever is doing the judging is actually guilty of doing the same things they are in fact judging.  Isn't that ironic?

I read an article recently by Cathy Hutchison, and she stated this:

"Judgment considers the situation. Being judgmental is a determination about character."

She expounded further the point that in our judicial system, to judge people for charges against them, situations are considered. Everyone is evaluated based on the circumstances. There are degrees of guilt or punishment in our judicial system. A person's crime may be viewed with empathy if they were acting in self defense, or if they made a dumb choice because of intense peer pressure. It is more severe when it is a calculated, mischievous, selfish, and a meditated/intentional act. Thus, the need for lawyers, juries, understanding of the law, examining facts, and so forth.

In continuing to read her article on the subject of judgmental people, I agreed with the following statements she shared:

"We miss just how flawed our judgments really are, but that isn’t even the point. The problem is that judgment is the wrong framework when it comes to human relationships.

Judgment may satisfy our ego’s need to be right, but love is the thing that satisfies at a heart level.

Love affirms the other person’s belonging.

Judgment affirms our own.

Love makes it safe for others to be who they really are and share authentic experience.

Judgment puts people on guard.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. (I Corinthians 13)

Judgment seeks them out."

I must admit, I have had a judgmental mindset on various occasions though my life. I think we all battle it in our minds and hearts from time to time. When I'm driving in traffic, I am tempted to judge people quickly when they cut me off just before the traffic light turns red, or when I see people dressing in their pajamas and house shoes as they walk into the retail store I shop for groceries. I think we all have our areas of our lives we think we are doing better than others. Perhaps after a long work out we judge someone who says they hate exercising. Maybe we judge people who don't go to church, or that do not go as often as we do.  Bias and prejudices are always a lurking temptation to each of us from time to time. The higher road, the better decision may be to extend grace, and have a more loving understanding towards people whose lives I may not truly understand. Perhaps my paradigm shift could be to give more benefits of doubts, to realize we all face difficulties in life, and deal with hard things we must get through the best we know how.

This year, I have heard of gossip that was spoken about me behind my back. I have encountered personally, hurtful judgments based on inaccuracies. Having encountered this has taught me more how to be compassionate, understanding, forbearing, and more sensitive regarding the pitfalls of being a judgmental person. It continues to teach me the fruit of the spirit has great effects in our personal lives that contribute to our well being. It has taught me that Jesus loved people in spite of their faults and shortcomings. He continues to be the ultimate example of grace.