Going through it.

 The word "through" is often under rated and mentioned with little fanfare in most conversations. I mean it is just a little word used as a preposition or an adverb, mostly. What is the big deal about the word "through"? I like the meaning of the word. It means to go from beginning to end, to go into and then out of, to continue to a destination. The definition denotes movement and this makes that word come alive more with hope as describing a situation we may be going through. It is not like that word "stuck" which is such a hopeless word. 

I have had to go through the hardest year of my life with the tragic unexpected death of my husband last July. It was a horrendous event that was most unwelcomed. I faced it with shock, denial, sorrow, questions, and even anger at times. The moments and days following his death were filled with such deep deep sorrow and anguish of heart. I wondered how I would get through the pain and the sadness at times. I encountered a new loneliness never known before that day. The hand that held mine was gone. The arms that caressed me each night were gone. The voice I heard everyday was now silent. It was a journey I did not want to travel. By faith and determination, and the grace of God,  I somehow mustered strength to keep getting out of bed each day to keep going. It was quite hard, but I knew it was something I had to face and go through. My children, my grandchildren, my extended family members, my church family and friends, all inspired me to keep going and to be brave in the face of so much uncertainty for the future ahead.

Mike, my husband, was an Assemblies of God Pastor for over 17 years, and I remember in one of his sermons he said, "We cannot go around this situation, we have to go through it." I am not even sure what the title of the sermon was or how he came to put that sentence together like that, but it rang so true to me. After facing this journey for over a year now, I look back and still remember the pain, still remember the challenges, and I also remember sweet blessings as people offered comfort, financial support, and words of encouragement in those dark times. As I moved through the days, the hours, the weeks, the months, I found that God's love and grace brings healing to the brokenhearted, that his goodness mends us in our brokenness. I still am going through pain at times, though not as severe as those first days and weeks. I am still going through uncertainty at times trusting that tomorrow will be fine, somehow. I don't know what my future holds, but I remember the old saying, "I know Who holds my future." That helps me along the way. I know with all my heart that Mike would want me to find comfort that he is in Heaven, that he is whole, and that all is well with him. I know he would want me to find new joys in life beyond the grief, beyond the sadness. He would want me to be happy again.

If you are facing a tough time, a heart break, an uncertain time, I hope you find encouragement in the word "through". Keep moving forward. Keep walking. Keep the faith. Go through it with God's grace, and know you will be alright. You will find that on the other side, there are new blessings in life to experience and new hope.